Working Through Leaving Domestic Violence

A Guide for Survivors

Leaving a domestic violence situation is often one of the most difficult and courageous decisions a person can make. The journey is rarely straightforward and may involve fear, uncertainty, grief, financial challenges, housing concerns, parenting difficulties, and emotional recovery.

If you are working through leaving domestic violence, it is important to remember that your safety and well-being matter. Healing takes time, and there is no “right” way to move forward.

Understanding the Leaving Process

Many survivors do not leave immediately. It is common to leave and return multiple times before permanently separating from an abusive partner.

There are many reasons why leaving can be difficult, including:

Concerns for personal safety.
Fear of retaliation.
Financial dependence.
Housing insecurity.
Children and parenting arrangements.
Emotional attachment and trauma bonding.
Cultural, religious, or family pressures.
Fear of being alone.
Lack of support networks.

These barriers do not mean a survivor is weak. They reflect the complex realities of domestic and family violence.

Prioritising Safety

Safety planning is an important part of leaving an abusive relationship.

Consider:

Keeping important documents in a safe place.
Having emergency contacts available.
Developing a plan for where to go if immediate danger arises.
Keeping a charged phone accessible.
Identifying trusted friends, family members, or support services.
Teaching children how to seek help in an emergency when appropriate.

If you are in immediate danger, call emergency services on 000.

Managing Emotional Challenges

Leaving can bring a wide range of emotions, including:

Relief.
Fear.
Sadness.
Anger.
Guilt.
Confusion.
Grief.

It is normal to miss aspects of the relationship while still recognising that the abuse was harmful. Recovery often involves processing conflicting emotions and rebuilding a sense of self.

Supporting Children During Separation

Children may experience anxiety, confusion, sadness, anger, or loyalty conflicts during and after separation.

Helpful strategies include:

Providing reassurance and stability.
Maintaining routines where possible.
Listening to their concerns.
Avoiding involving children in adult conflict.
Seeking professional support when needed.

Children benefit greatly from having safe, supportive adults who validate their feelings and provide consistency.

Rebuilding Your Life

Recovery is about more than leaving; it is about creating a future where you can thrive.

This may include:

Establishing financial independence.
Securing safe housing.
Accessing counselling or therapeutic support.
Reconnecting with family and friends.
Pursuing education or employment goals.
Rediscovering interests and hobbies.
Building healthy boundaries.

Progress may be gradual, and setbacks are a normal part of healing.

Seeking Support

You do not have to navigate this journey alone.

Support may be available through:

Domestic violence services.
Counsellors and psychologists.
Legal professionals.
Community organisations.
Family and friends.
Support groups for survivors.

Reaching out for help is a sign of strength.

Australian Support Services

1800RESPECT

National domestic, family and sexual violence support service.

Phone: 1800 737 732

Lifeline Australia

24-hour crisis support.

Phone: 13 11 14

Kids Helpline

Support for children and young people.

Phone: 1800 55 1800

Relationships Australia

Counselling and family support services.

Legal Aid

Legal information and advice regarding family law and safety concerns.

Remember

Leaving domestic violence is not simply a single event – it is a process of reclaiming safety, dignity, confidence, and hope.

Every step you take towards safety matters.

You deserve to live free from fear, control, intimidation, and abuse.

Prepared by

Nurture Nation Food Hut Inc.

Email: support@nnfh-au.com

Disclaimer

This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal, medical, psychological, or professional advice. Individuals should seek independent professional advice regarding their specific circumstances.